Camp No Fun

We at Camp No Fun, believe in correct spelling, brussels sprouts, and a 9 to 5.
On our days off you will probably see us sitting on our phones whilst listening to the traffic updates or finding lines to wait in with no data.
There is too much fun at KiwiBurn and we are on a mission to demolish it – or at least balance it out.

Events

Thursday 28 January 2021

No-flow Yoga

10:00 am - 11:00 am at Camp No Fun

Yoga flow conducted by an experienced instructor brings peace to the mind and soul, grounding you for the day to come. This is not that. Close your eyes, take a deep, long breath and enjoy all the worst parts of yoga, particularly, uncomfortable inappropriate and strange stretches, weird analogies, an untrained instructor, and of course no flow to the whole experience. I promise you’ll leave with a frown on your face.
Namaste from Camp No-fun.

Health & Wellness, Spiritual & Healing

Thursday

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Beginner Workshop

11:00 am - 11:45 am at Camp No Fun

After a long night, what is less fun than morning exercise and a healthy dose of pain? This is consensual non-consent without getting off! We’ll start with a basic history of jiu-jitsu before moving to some warmup and exercise drills, as well as learning and practicing basic moves. Be sure to bring suitable clothing!

Workshop

Thursday

The Ringer Stinger Curry

11:00 am - 12:30 pm at Camp No Fun

“Curry for breakfast? We think yes. Come along for this hot ass vegan curry, sure to give you a hot ass the next day too. This is the No-Fun gift that will keep on giving, so come on down and feel the burn! CAUTION: Not to be consumed by those with sensitive rings.”

Food & Drink

Thursday

BJJ Open Mat

11:45 am - 12:30 pm at Camp No Fun

Here to frolic around the Paddock, but missing your padded murder-yoga room? Come down to Camp No-fun for a BJJ open mat – let’s have some friendly rolls! Those that attended the beginner workshop can also experience what it’s like to be grabbed by a jiu-jitsu practitioner! Bring your no-Gi or yes-Gi gear.

Workshop

Thursday

The Funeral

1:00 pm - 1:45 pm at Camp No Fun

It’s with great sadness that we announce the death of great aunt Lisa’s ex-husband’s cousin’s cat, but most importantly, the death of all fun at Kiwiburn. Join us for a morning of mourning (in the afternoon)– whether it’s for an estranged step uncle, a confronting ego death, or, like us, you just love a good funeral, join us as we walk the streets of Kiwiburn in utter misery.

Performance

Thursday

Back, Sack and Crack Wax

2:00 pm - 2:45 pm at Camp No Fun

Ever wondered what it feels like to have hot wax poured all over your you-know-what? What glorious delights might be hiding under all that hair? What you look like truly naked? Well now’s your chance to spread your wings (and your butt cheeks) and let those family jewels fly free! Feel the breeze at your back, the wind on your balls, and never again answer to “So, do the drapes match the curtains?” We don’t discriminate against body parts – come along and get anything waxed!

Health & Wellness

Thursday

18+

How to Deal with Disappointment

3:00 pm - 3:45 pm at Camp No Fun

Disappointment can be… well… disappointing. And disappointment sucks. After the great big disappointment that was 2020, we thought we all needed a bit of a pep talk. Come along to learn our best kept secret for dealing with disappointment.

Talk / Lecture, Workshop

Thursday

Saturday 30 January 2021

Surf Lesson On Land

10:30 am - 11:00 am at Camp No Fun

The Camp No Fun Surf School is one of the best and most sought-after land surfing schools in the country. We offer qualified professional instructors in a safe and fun environment, guaranteed to get you shredding on the Paddock’s top-quality waves. Come hang ten among the tents and drop on the d floor. Bring a wetsuit – surf’s looking pretty gnarly.

Workshop

Saturday

Bored Meeting

11:00 am - 11:30 am at Camp No Fun

As per our previous email, please see below for information on the upcoming Camp No Fun bored meeting. Discussion points include folding socks, the weather and retirement plans. Also on the agenda: favourite shades of beige and the pros and cons of the missionary position. Yawning is encouraged, smiling is not.

Talk / Lecture

Saturday

Ice Baths

11:30 am - 12:30 pm at Camp No Fun

What could be less fun than submerging yourself in near freezing water? Head on over to Camp No Fun for a rundown on breathing techniques and the benefits of ice baths, before taking the plunge. Nipples… who needs em’ anyway?

Workshop

Saturday

Wheel Of Misfortune

1:00 pm - 2:30 pm at Camp No Fun

Step on up, step on up ladies and gentlemen, and tempt your fate with the wheel of Miss Fortune. She’s cheeky, she’s sassy, unforgiving and surprising. Maybe you’ll strike lucky and find yourself with an ice-cold mimosa – or maybe you’ll end up getting a practice Covid test. There are prizes to be won for those that carry her burdens graciously. Only the wheel will reveal. BYO cup.

Games

Saturday

The Brussels Sprout BBQ with some Bloody Hot Bloody Marys

1:00 pm - 2:30 pm at Camp No Fun

Back by popular demand (we heard you crying for more), is Camp No Fun’s deliciously out-of-season brussels sprout barbecue! Come join us for a fry up of healthy but horribly mundane vegetables. Feeling bored? Try some of our vege kebabs, marinated in our total fuck you hot sauce, or sip on a bloody hot bloody Mary and see how that tickles your bits. BYO cup, plate, cutlery & gas mask.

Food & Drink

Saturday

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