Vaguely Problematic

Formerly ZefCamp, the same obnoxious, body-, sex-, kink-, weird-, queer-, positive- positive assholes that you love to hate are back with a new name. Representing 9 continents, sponsored by 3 tech companies and 2 corporations, we’re content creators and influencers with collectively over 2.1 million followers. Come to our events so we can take photos and video for social media and our documentary series. We have our bracelets pre-loaded with thousands of US dollars. We’ve lost track of which cultures we’re appropriating, but we have a minor obsession with the Tiger-American community. If any of this sounds like we’re missing the point of this whole thing, maybe we are, but so are you? Or maybe it’s all just vaguely problematic. Are we giving you shit or gifting it to you? Hosting Golden Gay alleyway themed bars and hedonistic experimentation. Vaguely Problematic: Come as you are and Rawr as you come.

Events

Wednesday 22 January

Soft, Nasular, Opening of O’Smelligan’s Dogrish Poob

7:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Jesus, Mary, and JoSniff! Where can ya get a good pint a smells at this Dog forsaken paddock! Come to O’Smelligan’s Dogrish Poob. Slurp holy water and munch doggie biscuits. Craic is that we’ve got some great Singer-Song-Barkers lined up, a savage selection of scents on tap, and some secret shenanigans. Butt sniffing happy hour is… always. Absolutely no felines! *winky face. BORK! BORK!

Food & Drink, Party, Performance

Wednesday

Soft Wet Opening of Circus Bar

7:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Come feast your eyes on some sexy, stilted, sensual, circus sluts. You bring your mouth holes and we’ll pour libations into those mouth holes with the acrobatic prowess of a french flea thats been training to do handstands in a fascist, Cirque, boot camp its whole, miserable life.

Food & Drink, Party, Performance

Wednesday

R18

Glengarry Glen Ross: A David Mamet, Atlantic Theatre Company scene study with Tigers

8:00 pm - 9:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Former House Manager at Atlantic Theatre Company in New York, and solo first chorus member of West Carteret Singers Production of Les Mis in 2003, bring to you a large-scale, Tiger stuffy enactment of David Mamet’s Pulitzer Prize Winning play: Glengarry Glen Ross… ”PUT. THAT COFFEE. DOWN. Coffee is for closers only. You think I'm f***in' with you? I am not f***in' with you.”

Performance

Wednesday

R18

Holy Mountain Midnight Movie Marathon

9:00 pm - 12:00 am at Vaguely Problematic

We are bringing the father of the midnight movie Alejandro Jodorowsky to the paddock this year. Be ready to transcend, be transfixed and transformed by the best movie EVER according to Monty. You loved it so much you want to see it again directly after?! WELL. We will be having it on repeat til Midnight where we will then COMMENCE THE DANCE MAGIC! Prizes for best dressed.

Spiritual & Healing

Wednesday

Thursday 23 January

Nude Life Drawing with Bjork

12:00 pm - 2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

I am a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl. Watch me and my fleshy human bodied friends, with beaaaaaaards, and bones like whale bones, and pearls, oscillate and undulate to the sounds of pencils and crayyyyons going *shweesh, swoosh, shhhketch shhhhhhhhhhhhhletch. I will be judging your work as harshly as the pain of childbirth. Come draw with MeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!
Artists and Models wanted.

Arts & Crafts

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Moist Gaping Opening of Swingers Inn/ Fun House

2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Don’t let appearances fool you… it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Swing inside our garden of fantasy to get your mouth wet and your fingers sticky. Biodegradable wet wipes are recommended after a visit to this establishment, or you can just lick yourself clean.

Food & Drink, Party

Thursday

R18

Colorful Crazy Opening of Art Bar

2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Want to have a night on the piss and paint the town red? Our bar is a blank canvas for all your festival inspired angsty art. Psychedelic utopias, bad-trip hellscapes, a good old-fashioned cock-and-balls, or an O'Keefe aspirational vulva sketch, paint what you like. Our camp art critics may shower you with hugs and compliments or look down at your infantile and effete attempts at self expression.

Arts & Crafts, Food & Drink, Party

Thursday

Let’s Talk Naturism! (Nudism, Nakedness, Body Positivity, FKK)

5:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

So you like getting your kit off (or you’re curious, excited, or intrigued), we got you! Come to our annual naturism talk. Bring your questions, thoughts, vulnerabilities; we have answers, more thoughts, and nurturing support to go around. This is a body positive, clothing optional safe space. Come clothed, come nude, come willing to dip a toe in the water, or not. Leave judgments behind.

Discussion / Conversation, Health & Wellness

Thursday

Tight Turgid Opening of Don’t Throw Stones Bar: Body Positive Konnection Zone

8:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Zo, you heard about ze koolest German party on ze paddock? Tonight, we do things Berlin-style, and take our klothes off to celebrate our body positive, kink positive, weird positive, type O negative, judgment-free konnection zone. Let go of judgments so you can really love others and yourself. We ready for your nudity, never-nudity, bondage gear, pixie wings, and anysing in betweenskies, ja? Genau

Food & Drink, Party

Thursday

R18

Friday 24 January

Morning Nude Yoga

10:00 am at Vaguely Problematic

Crawl out of bed and yawn your way over to camp Vaguely Problematic to downward your dogs, to warrior your ones and twos, and to stretch your Yonis and your Scrotes in glorious suns and buns salutations.

Health & Wellness, Spiritual & Healing

Friday

Heavy Metal Hair Straightening

11:00 am - 12:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

YOUR CURLY HAIR IS EMBARRASSING BOTH OF US! Come PRAY THE WAVE AWAY and get STRAIGHT at Vaguely Problematic. We will BURN DINOSAURS to give you enough RAW POWER to BLOW YOURSELF. Kurls are kancelled, Kylie‼! Straighten your haaaaaaaiiiiirrrr!

Arts & Crafts, Health & Wellness, Performance

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Nude Life Drawing with Bjork

12:00 pm - 2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

I am a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl. Watch me and my fleshy human bodied friends, with beaaaaaaards, and bones like whale bones, and pearls, oscillate and undulate to the sounds of pencils and crayyyyons going *shweesh, swoosh, shhhketch shhhhhhhhhhhhhletch. I will be judging your work as harshly as the pain of childbirth. Come draw with MeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!
Artists and Models wanted.

Arts & Crafts

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Nude Story SLAM

2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

You know that dream where you realize you’re naked in front of an audience? This is that, except the audience is naked too. Bring a true, 5 minute story on the theme BARE. Stories of revealing yourself literally and figuratively, when you fell out of the closet or came out of your briefs, risking comfort zones, embracing new horizons.

Discussion / Conversation, Performance, Talk / Lecture

Friday

Natasha I-Don’t-Give-A-F***!’s speed drag

5:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

How long does it take you to get ready? Your eyeliner perfect? Your outfit on fleek?
WRONG! LESS TIME THAN THAT! THIS IS SPEED DRAG!
Playhouse and Vaguely Problematic present the hottest, fastest drag event of the paddock: Speed Drag.
Contestants have as little time as possible to assemble their look, all acts are made up on the fly, all competition is FIERCE.

Performance

Friday

Grand Opening of Golden Gay Bar District

8:30 pm at Vaguely Problematic

This is that super cool part of town that the annoying tourists have told you YOU GOTTA SEE! Come to Golden Gay, refuse to speak the local language, pretend to not know how much to tip, be loud after the sound curfew, and brag about the foodie meals you’ve had with your fiancé. Instagram your experience with #livingmyfestlife. See all 7 bars. Your wallet may be stolen by a disgruntled dishwasher.

Food & Drink, Party

Friday

R18

Saturday 25 January

Heavy Metal Hair Straightening

11:00 am - 12:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

YOUR CURLY HAIR IS EMBARRASSING BOTH OF US! Come PRAY THE WAVE AWAY and get STRAIGHT at Vaguely Problematic. We will BURN DINOSAURS to give you enough RAW POWER to BLOW YOURSELF. Kurls are kancelled, Kylie‼! Straighten your haaaaaaaiiiiirrrr!

Arts & Crafts, Health & Wellness, Performance

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Nude Life Drawing with Bjork

12:00 pm - 2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

I am a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl. Watch me and my fleshy human bodied friends, with beaaaaaaards, and bones like whale bones, and pearls, oscillate and undulate to the sounds of pencils and crayyyyons going *shweesh, swoosh, shhhketch shhhhhhhhhhhhhletch. I will be judging your work as harshly as the pain of childbirth. Come draw with MeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!
Artists and Models wanted.

Arts & Crafts

Thursday, Friday, Saturday

Unchatter Human Connectivity Workshop

3:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Feel gratitude, experience touch, allow quiet stillness and resonant eye-gazing. This workshop is a guided journey to foster deep connections from one human to another. Hosted by Craig.

Health & Wellness, Spiritual & Healing, Workshop

Saturday

Sunday 26 January

Silly Naked Yoga

10:30 am at Vaguely Problematic

The mission is to normalize nudity and desexualize the human body. The practice is about grounding and reconnecting to your naked body, becoming embodied and comfortable with your imperfections. Silly naked yoga uses play, laughter, and relaxation to rejuvenate and re-energize the body.

Health & Wellness, Spiritual & Healing

Sunday

Heavy Metal Hair Straightening

11:00 am - 12:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

YOUR CURLY HAIR IS EMBARRASSING BOTH OF US! Come PRAY THE WAVE AWAY and get STRAIGHT at Vaguely Problematic. We will BURN DINOSAURS to give you enough RAW POWER to BLOW YOURSELF. Kurls are kancelled, Kylie‼! Straighten your haaaaaaaiiiiirrrr!

Arts & Crafts, Health & Wellness, Performance

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Tiger Sex Ed with Tigrene

2:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

Come learn how nasty tigers get their freak on.

Discussion / Conversation, Performance, Talk / Lecture

Sunday

R18

Retrospective Grand Opening and Framing of Art Bar Masterpieces

7:00 pm at Vaguely Problematic

We opened an all white bar and left cans of paint in it. You did your best. Tonight we officially unveil the paddock’s most avant-garde art bar. With judgy art critics, bubbly, and a framing of the most titillating pieces you’ve created. Did you draw, pain, or sketch at our bar? Come find out if you’re the artiest art of all the arts.

Food & Drink, Party

Sunday

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