Last week, we reported on the drama surrounding the Auckland Burners Facebook group. This is of course regarding the lack of Flatmates Wanted posts, not just in the Facebook group, but also in the Auckland Burners channel in the Kiwiburn Discord server.
Well, dear readers, it’s fair to say things are heating up. The blowback from last week’s article has taken things from warm, to near effigy levels of hot.
To keep an eye on things, one of our intrepid reporters stealthily infiltrated the group, and has been reporting back to us on the drama as it unfolds.
Wild accusations have been thrown around, as group members look for someone to blame. Some members of the group have gone as far as to accuse us, the DOP, of hiding Flatmates Wanted posts in the Auckland Burners Discord channel unless you’re signed up to a premium subscription. Which we can confirm is categorically untrue.
On an unrelated note – Kiwiburn Plus is now available for just 29.99 Schmacks a month. Get ad-free EFP articles, access to all Discord channels and all the AI generated Flatmates Wanted posts you could want. Sign up now! (All proceeds go towards the DOPs Paddock party. No refunds.)
To make matters worse, the drama has spilled out of the Auckland Burners group and into the Theme Camps community. Decades old rivalries between certain Theme Camps have come back in full force, whipping the Kiwiburn Community up into a fiery inferno of drama.
Even the Kiwiburn Discord is not immune, as it’s recently become one Theme Camps personal recruitment centre. For those unaware, one channel in the server, called ‘Join a Theme Camp’, exists for camps to find new members, allowing them to expand their numbers.
Well, it seems one camp took that as a personal challenge, and is going above and beyond expansion, instead aiming for total Paddock domination. The camp in question? Creature Lab. Apparently not content with having the biggest sound system on the Paddock, it seems Creature Lab also wants to have the most camp members too. The questions on everyone’s minds are; will there be enough lab coats for everyone, and is this a ploy to get the entire Paddock involved in some weird psytrance experiment? All signs point to yes..
Not all hope is lost however, as one Theme Camp is fighting back. Paradiso Airlines boldly stepped up to pit their air crew vs the Labs’ scientists. Paradiso’s Pilot, who goes by the name B. Oeing, promised the Kiwiburn community that their ‘In-Flight Meal service’ will feature 75% more turbulence, 100% more security and 50% more cavity searches this year. While this is a tempting offer, it remains to be seen if it’s enough to stop burners from donning a lab coat at the KB27 event.
Will the Lab achieve total Paddock dominance? Probably not. Will Paradiso miss their own flight? Most likely!
Stay tuned to the EFP for the latest updates! If you’d like to join the Discord and be part of the fun, click here.
Photo Credit; John Williams
2026 Effigy by; Lucien
