Of love and friendships

The Electric Fencepost

How do relationships evolve and emerge intact from a Burn?

Burner events have a reputation of being notoriously hard on romantic relationships and friendships alike. If you don’t prepare and communicate well with each other, then this can certainly be true. Any heightened sensory experience, such a Burn, is a highly individual thing and can lead to rifts and misunderstandings. Of course, done right it can also bring you closer together.

Here are a number of hints and tips that can make it easier to ensure a relationship does not unravel on the Paddock:

  • Ensure each of you is there for the right reasons, rather than just accompanying your partner because you don’t trust them or don’t want to be left home alone. Obviously, if there are trust issues beforehand, being surrounded by scantily clad people is unlikely to help.
  • Alone time is important and can be really helpful for anyone from time to time. You don’t need to be spending every waking minute with each other, and a Burn should be an individual experience as well.
  • If there are issues in the relationship before you go, they will likely be amplified. Make sure you’re prepared for any eventuality if things are already uncertain. This can lead to actually dealing with any issues in a way that is healthy for both of you as well as making any cracks wider and more obvious.
  • Communication is key. Set out before hand what your boundaries are and be ready to have an open and frank conversation about what is acceptable and what is not.
  • Be honest with each other. The adage “what happens at Kiwiburn stays at Kiwiburn” may not always apply when there is a long term friendship or relationship at stake.

Here are a couple of reports from Burning Man on  the topic, Transformative Experiences, How to Stay in Love at Burning Man and Relationship Survival. 

With a little care and forethought you can make this event a true success for both (all) of you. You will experience things together you may not have done otherwise, and a Burn can definitely bring you closer together if you’ve done a little bit of homework.